Okay – I’m fat. There, I admitted it.
Overweight. Not huge like some people, and not wobbling and jiggling but definitely lugging some extra rolls round my middle. Not good for the cardiovascular system.
How on earth I ever got to be this size, I do not know. But I am considerably larger than I was ten years ago.
Weight has always been a bit of an issue for me ever since I stopped smoking – how many years ago? Even when I was doing triathlon – training three hours a day – I was heavier than your average female. But I was healthy. A resting heart rate of 58 bpm. And I’ve continued to be active even since I stopped training. Have always used a bicycle for transportation – in Victoria, B.C., Montreal, P.Q., Budapest, Hungary and Barcelona, Spain – I went everywhere on a bicycle. It’s actually easier for me to cycle than to walk.
When my mother was here visiting last October I dropped pounds and inches. Went down a size and a half. We walked everywhere. Then over Xmas I gobbled mince pies and chocolate and piled on the pounds. But it wasn’t till I got on the scale at the doctor’s about six weeks ago that I realised just how much weight I had piled on! Then last week I once again fit into my jeans and skirts and got on the scales again, and sheesh – I had only lost 3 kilo in 6 weeks! But my size had dropped.
Unable to cycle due to the broken wrist, determined to get some exercise, last Tuesday I walked 7.5 miles, and today 6.5! Then last night checked out calories burned over distance walked, and was checking out my body mass and measured my wrist – the unbroken one – and realised I have a large frame. But still, my weight puts me in the danger zone. How can that be? I cycle everywhere! I am active….
But I eat. Today, after walking 6.5 miles I came home and wolfed down at least 1000, if not 1200 calories. Yes, I counted the first 750 then stopped. I’ve never counted calories. I always figured because I eat healthy – mostly – I could eat lots. Lots of fruit and vegetables, organic whole grain bread, organic whole wheat pasta, very little animal fat (vegetarian) so where was all this weight coming from?
It was when I realised I’d come home today and wolfed 1200 calories of healthy food that I realised ah ha – that’s why I’m overweight. It’s not WHAT I eat, it’s HOW MUCH!!!
Then tonight I realised when I got on the scales Monday, I had a CAST ON MY ARM! How much does that weigh? Maybe a kilo.
So today I checked out Marianne Williamson’s A Course in Weight Loss. I checked out the videos for the first three chapters on her web site and immediately went to Amazon. Perish the thought! Do not want to support Amazon who cut out Wikileaks!!!!!! I’ve never bought anything through Amazon, mostly for political reasons, and now with the Wikileaks scam, it’s even lower on my list. But I succumbed for Marianne’s book.
Marianne blew me away with her book A Woman’s Worth, and she blew me away with her little two-and-half minute videos on each chapter of her book. She hit the nail on the head. She always does. I don’t want to go where I know I must go to deal with over eating. But until now I wasn’t even able to say “I eat too much.” So maybe now I can read her book and do her exercises at a leisurely pace, rather than exercising like a madwoman three hours a day to chase away the excess calories I consume!
I’ll see if I can find a really fat picture to post and one of me when I was training, so we can have a before fat and after fat. Let’s see if I can drop these excess pounds and then I can post an after-after fat pic.
If you see me, please don’t mention this. I do not want any face-to-face discussions about my journey back to that 117 pounds I weighed after my first year of university. 117 pounds! Not likely. I’ll be happy to get back down to 154, which is where I was when I was at the peak of triathlon training.
Well, I am voluptuous, you know. I do carry female body parts that weigh more than your average female body parts, and I like those parts of me! And I’ve always carried those, even when weighing in at 154 and training three hours a day! But it’s the waistline I want to find, it’s in there – somewhere, buried beneath overly-generous love handles. I know it is. I just KNOW it’s there!
P.S. And that extra chin I have? I even had that when I was a kid. I remember starting to jut my head forward and stick my chin out when at 10 years old I realised I had a double chin – and I wasn’t fat. Then when I studied acting I had to learn how to hold my head properly – double chin or no double chin – and I used to walk around with a book on my head all the time. So I doubt we’ll see that vanish, though it might get smaller.