D is for Dull

Broken wrist equals cast on. Notice how it covers the hand down to the knuckles? and wraps around the thumb? This makes using the thumb awkward. Every time I grip anything, it squeezes a nerve at the base of the thumb making for dropped, and broken, dishes. Today I dropped a cup, last time I did the dishes I dropped a glass. Thankfully they weren’t my grandmother’s Blue Willow pattern; which I don’t have anyway, but which I am gradually building up a set of. I told you ‘D’ is for ‘Dull’. Wait till you read the condom bit!

Besides the inconvenience of not being able to ride my bicycle, there are some major challenges with a broken wrist, like carrying the shopping home. Otherwise, the most tedious tasks involve washing and water.

Would Extra Large Condoms Work?

There’s washing my hands. Almost impossible without getting the bottom of the cast wet. There’s taking a shower – with a hand-held shower. I wrap the cast in plastic and dangle the shower head over my shoulder and wash. Taking a bath is actually easier and more relaxing.

Then there’s washing the dishes. Oh how I wish for a dishwasher! I bought the biggest rubber gloves I could get and every time I pull one over the cast it rips. I’ve finally figured out that I have to roll it up- like a condom – slip the fingers into the finger slots, then roll the rubber glove down the cast – just like a condom! Having destroyed all the left hand gloves, I am now using right hand gloves inside out. Maybe I should have just bought some extra large condoms? Non-lubicrated, of course.

Old Fashioned Boiler Requires Planning Ahead for Dish Washing

I dislike doing dishes at the best of times – this flat makes doing dishes even more of a chore as I have to plan ahead. The water is heated by a 1960’s gas fired back-burning system that sends the heated water to a storage tank where it gets cold, so you if you want it really hot you have to heat it up just before you use it! To get it really, really hot you have to heat a lot, so I usually heat water once a day, sufficient for a shower and doing the dishes, and wash the dishes once a day – before I take the shower, that way by the time I get to the shower the older, cooler water has been used up and the fresher, hotter water is starting to come through the pipes. It requires strategy.

With this cast on, I avoid doing dishes even more so but today I relented as every dish in the house was dirty, the sink was full and the counter covered with dirty dishes. It took me an hour and a half to wash them. But I only broke one cup.

I want a dishwasher, and a shower I don’t have to hold. I’ll settle for the shower and a modern double-boiler that delivers hot water on demand. My dishes were always washed right after I used them when I had that. This Bacci Back Burner system might have been good in the 60’s when gas was cheap, but in 2011, it’s a rip-off.

‘D’ is definitely for ‘Dull’.  Though I could have just sent you to this post about Drugs and the Media.  Or this one about Depressing News.